Let me ask you, dear readers, a simple question…
If I, a dog, am truly man’s best friend, why does my “best friend” assign me movies to review that make me want to dash onto a crowded interstate highway? If only I were so lucky. That would be but a moment of pain, then blissful release into the hereafter, instead of sitting through the 90 minutes of shrill torture that is J-Lo’s latest film, The Back-Up Plan.
I hesitated to write this review. Not because the piece under review isn’t worthy, it certainly is. But as part of a marketing campaign, it stands as more of a piece of quality branded content than a true piece of documentary film.
That said, Up There is a fascinating portrait of the men who paint the urban landscape.
I won’t bore you by offering up the long list of horrendous movies based on Saturday Night Live sketches.
I will simply tell you that the newest SNL sketch-cum-movie adventure, MacGruber, isn’t nearly as bad as It’s Pat, but doesn’t quite reach the comedic heights of Wayne’s World.
When the recent Oscar nominations came out, there weren’t really very many surprises. Okay, there usually aren’t, because by that time, there have been so many awards handed out the lead horses are easy to spot.
But in the category of Best Animated Feature, one film earned a clear “huh?” from most. That film is The Secret of Kells, and while it may not have had the wide release or big box office of Up or Fantastic Mr. Fox, its nomination was well-deserved.
Anyone who underestimates the power of art to transform our lives needs to look no further than the White House. Shepard Fairey’s graphically striking image of Barack Obama helped move a man from candidate to consciousness, and changed the face of American politics forever. Fairey, like shadowy underground characters named Banksy and Invader, is a “street artist,” but the influence of his art goes far beyond the streets.
With the Sundance-lauded documentary Exit Through The Gift Shop, first-time director Banksy shines as bright a light as the dark world of street art would ever allow. But the question is, what exactly is that light illuminating?
Many people look back with scorn at the 1980s. When they think about that time, they see leg warmers, hear the lyrics to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and a cold chill runs down their spine when they even hear the words “1983 yearbook.”
I hate to break to you people, but the 1980s were f*$king awesome, and the 1983 film Valley Girl stands as an upturned-collar-reminder of just how awesome it was.
Fanboyism is not my thing. Though at times, after long stretches of not shaving, I can look a little bit like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, I promise you I am not him.
And so, when Samuel L. Jackson, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. made a cameo at the end (the very, very end) of the first Iron Man film, I did not ejaculate. I smiled, because that’s what Sam always makes me do. But I also winced just a little, because I knew in that short bit the seeds had been sown for the potential creative downfall of a promising film franchise.
As it turns out, I was right.
My knowledge of Yorkshire pretty much begins and ends with pudding.
If the Yorkshire created in the trilogy of films known as Red Riding is at all accurate, I’ll stick with the dish. And while the second helping in the series (1980) may not be quite as tasty as the first, it still manages to serve up a meaty dish of police corruption with a side of serial murder.
All you really need to know about seeing the newest exercise in torture-porn from Dutch director Tom Six is that, depending on your nature, you will either have a good laugh or you will leave the theater after about 20 minutes.
Either way, I can’t say I blame you.
Has it been 26 years since Freddy Krueger first invaded our collective sleep?
Back then, few things were scarier than the burned man with razors for fingers. Today, thanks to the phoned-in direction by Samuel Bayer and the empty acting by, well, pretty much everyone in the “remake” of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy offers all the chills of a man who’s discovered a library of loud sound effects.
